Excuse me while I get a little sentimental today. Parenthood is so confusing. As if I needed another reason to get emotional. I was already too dramatic before kids (according to my husband and mother; I’m not admitting this publicly).
We had a long week around here, with sick days, snow days, and a lot of work. So by Friday I was over it (italics exist for exactly this purpose). I took matters into my own overtired hands and signed the kids up for a play event at a local place, texted my husband and said “there’s a thing on Sunday. I signed them up. You’re taking them. Kthanksbye.” Okay, maybe I wasn’t that foreword and rude, but you get the idea.
I had big plans to do a lot of nothing for this entire two-hour slice of joy – my momma/old lady version of Netflix and chill. But, as my husband walked out of the door with my precious little muffins, I felt terrible. What is wrong with me?! I can’t even enjoy my free time anymore because I’m feeling guilty for even wanting it. What kind of mother wants time away from her children? Horrible, horrible, horrible woman!
But, let’s be honest, by the time I put my feet up on that couch and my head on a fluffy pillow, the guilt pretty much melted away. And then I took a nap. Alone. In complete silence. Without a small person on top of me. Oh, to be in college again and take naps every day. Why didn’t I appreciate it then? Not like I’d go back. Heck no, as they say.
And then my adorable shmushy family came home, and they all seemed bigger. Wait, not everyone. My husband seemed the same. But those two little nuggets seemed bigger. How did they grow in two hours? Perspective, man.
And that leads me to today’s doodle. Lately, whenever we ask our older rugrat when she got so big, her response has been “every day!” Like, really? Please, tug at my fragile mommy heartstrings a little harder. I talk a big game with my sarcasm and humor. But sometimes, truly, I’m just losing it on the inside. My life has been in warp speed since having kids. I know everyone says this. Please, you don’t need to remind me. I feel it without your telling me. I’m stressed out as f*** every day simply because my kids are growing so fast and I don’t even know how to absorb it all. I guess that’s part of the reason I’m here drawing these cartoons and writing this blog – to help me process.
Sometimes it’s just too much, and momma needs a Valium.